Difference between revisions of "World Domination"
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(Created page with "==A Treatise on World Domination Tactics== ===Notes on Being an Evil Overlord=== ===Equipment=== ===Chocolate Soldiers=== ===Giant Robotic Ants=== ===Goons=== ===Henchmen===...") |
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===Equipment=== | ===Equipment=== | ||
===Chocolate Soldiers=== | ===Chocolate Soldiers=== | ||
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| + | I've been thinking a little recently about certain nefarious plots for world | ||
| + | domination, and I thought I'd share the fruits of some of my research with you... | ||
| + | |||
| + | The angle I've taken for researching a possible method of world | ||
| + | domination is this: | ||
| + | |||
| + | Complete control through a reign of terror, backed up by an army of | ||
| + | chocolate soldiers. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Now, this is certainly one of the more unusual methods, but by no means | ||
| + | unthinkable. So, after a certain amount of running around asking people | ||
| + | strange questions, getting poked in the eye a lot and occasionally | ||
| + | bought a beer and patted on the head with the phrase "there there, it'll | ||
| + | all seem better soon" ringing in my ears.... I present some of my | ||
| + | findings, loosely organised under three headings. | ||
| + | |||
| + | World Domination through the use of an army of Chocolate Soldiers. Pros: | ||
| + | <ul> | ||
| + | <li>Cheap to replace when they take horrible losses.</li> | ||
| + | <li>Logistics -- food especially -- not a problem.</li> | ||
| + | <li>The element of surprise...</li> | ||
| + | <li>Corruption of the young, in preparation for a really insidious takeover next generation...</li> | ||
| + | <li>Generally unrebellious force, unlikely to stage a coup and overthrow you.</li> | ||
| + | <li>A tasty treat if everything's going really badly.</li> | ||
| + | </ul> | ||
| + | |||
| + | World Domination through the use of an army of Chocolate Soldiers. Cons: | ||
| + | <ul> | ||
| + | <li>Not very scary.</li> | ||
| + | <li>Can't carry guns, and small candy spears don't really hurt a lot, no matter how many you get hit by.</li> | ||
| + | <li> Low morale a common problem amongst confectionery militia.</li> | ||
| + | <li> All attempts to subdue Opelika, AL have met with heavy resistance, with no bodies recovered to date...</li> | ||
| + | <li> Hot weather an operational limitation, as is excess humidity.</li> | ||
| + | <li>Mobilization is a problem, unless many Kinder Suprise (for aircraft/sailing vessels) are purchased.</li> | ||
| + | <li>Inability to withstand enemy fire of any kind.</li> | ||
| + | <li>Many tactical limitations tied to being 3 inches high.</li> | ||
| + | <li>Inability to understand complex strategic or tactical issues.</li> | ||
| + | <li>Basically, completely bloody worthless.</li> | ||
| + | </ul> | ||
| + | |||
===Giant Robotic Ants=== | ===Giant Robotic Ants=== | ||
===Goons=== | ===Goons=== | ||
Revision as of 02:34, 4 January 2017
Contents
A Treatise on World Domination Tactics
Notes on Being an Evil Overlord
Equipment
Chocolate Soldiers
I've been thinking a little recently about certain nefarious plots for world domination, and I thought I'd share the fruits of some of my research with you...
The angle I've taken for researching a possible method of world domination is this:
Complete control through a reign of terror, backed up by an army of chocolate soldiers.
Now, this is certainly one of the more unusual methods, but by no means unthinkable. So, after a certain amount of running around asking people strange questions, getting poked in the eye a lot and occasionally bought a beer and patted on the head with the phrase "there there, it'll all seem better soon" ringing in my ears.... I present some of my findings, loosely organised under three headings.
World Domination through the use of an army of Chocolate Soldiers. Pros:
- Cheap to replace when they take horrible losses.
- Logistics -- food especially -- not a problem.
- The element of surprise...
- Corruption of the young, in preparation for a really insidious takeover next generation...
- Generally unrebellious force, unlikely to stage a coup and overthrow you.
- A tasty treat if everything's going really badly.
World Domination through the use of an army of Chocolate Soldiers. Cons:
- Not very scary.
- Can't carry guns, and small candy spears don't really hurt a lot, no matter how many you get hit by.
- Low morale a common problem amongst confectionery militia.
- All attempts to subdue Opelika, AL have met with heavy resistance, with no bodies recovered to date...
- Hot weather an operational limitation, as is excess humidity.
- Mobilization is a problem, unless many Kinder Suprise (for aircraft/sailing vessels) are purchased.
- Inability to withstand enemy fire of any kind.
- Many tactical limitations tied to being 3 inches high.
- Inability to understand complex strategic or tactical issues.
- Basically, completely bloody worthless.
